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Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.

Why did the man cross the road?
He heard the chicken was a slut.

How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.

When do you care for a man's company?
When he owns it.

Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time.

Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
They don't stop and ask for directions.

How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer.

What is the difference between men and government bonds?
The bonds mature.

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
We don't know, it has never happened.

What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
They're married.

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A widow.

Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
They all already have boyfriends.

How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
Both of them.

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