--- MARRIAGE QUOTATIONS ---
"Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage."
"Love and lust are separated only by commitment."
"The most dangerous predator known to man - women."
"A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation."
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
"Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense."
"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature."
"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
"In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker."
"It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't."
"Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife."
"A man in love is incomplete, until he is married. Then he is finished."
Zsa Zsa Gabor
"My wife dresses to kill, unfortunately she also cooks the same way."
"Marriage.....the most advanced form of warfare in the modern world."
"Marriage is a feast where grace is sometimes better than the dinner."
Charles Caleb Colton
"A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband."
Michael de Montaigne
"A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted."
"The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain."
"A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't."
"Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway."
"If it takes a lot of words to say what you have in mind, give it more thought."
"When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her."
"The meaning of life is not happens to people - it's what happens between people."
"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on with everything you got."
Franklin D. Roosevelt
"A married man should forget his mistakes, no use two people remembering the same thing."
"The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less."
"Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It's not fair that some men should be happier than others."
"When all is said and done, the weather and love are two elements about which one can never be sure."
"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher."
"Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning handsprings or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy, until you try it."
"Marriage. A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the gentleman."
"An archaeologist is the best husband any woman could have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her."
"Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them."
"A successful man is one who makes more money that a wife can spend, a successful woman is one who can find such a man."
"May you live a thousand years, and I, one day less, so that I might never know the world without the pleasure of your company."
Hungarian Wedding Toast
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week.
A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."